It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
