ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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