He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
