I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have fence marks all over my body
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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