I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
