well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
