Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
