Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
