His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize