You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
