3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
