Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
