She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
