I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
