Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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