he wants to bone in the snuggie
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
