Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
