I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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