I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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