Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
