at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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