I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
