All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
