New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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