My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm both gender and math confused
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
