I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
