Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
