Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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