hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
