Whod you bang
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
