i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
