I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
