i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
