can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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