Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
