I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
