youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
