there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I believe in your delicious
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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