And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
