you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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