i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
