I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
People in love make me want to vomit
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just google imaged poop.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
