operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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