Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
