I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize