But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
