I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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