what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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