kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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