If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
