Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
