We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
