i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
