I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize