just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Everyone says I win the strip club
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Help. Why am I so naked?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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