remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Brb crying the tears of my youth
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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