I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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