So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize