I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
