guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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