and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
