she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
