and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He? As in you personified your dick?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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